This past weekend I gave my testimony at my church. It was an amazing and an extremely humbling experience. There were so many men and women who came up to me afterwards and talked with me about their lives, mistakes they had made, and struggles that they had overcome. It felt like I had been preparing myself for this my entire life. I used to joke that “God had given me the gift of gab.” but it’s true, I love to talk and God has given me that passion. I love to be on fire for something and I have never been more excited about anything like I am about my heavenly Father cause see, He made it all clear. He answered all the questions that I didn’t really even know I had. His Word has given me a weapon that I can wield to fight.
A woman walked up to me, words lost to her, as she wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my neck. The sobs wracked her body as she struggled to achieve some scrap of her decorum, but I knew, oh my friend I knew what she was dealing with. I held on and just rocked back and forth. I have been there and while the journey is hard it does get easier and I just wanted so much to let her know that. The pain that she was feeling finally overflowed into the tears that were pouring down her cheeks. I understood that pain, I had been there, and this was why I took that step up onto the stage and exposed my scars for the world to see. So that if even one woman can find her way out of the dark into His light, then all of it was worth it. We have to help though. There can be no more secrets. There can be no more shame.
Many have kept the secrets of their past buried, a wound that has had a scab over it. A lot of times those scabs keep others from seeing the damage, but like any wound that is not allowed to heal properly, the infection and poison will go down, inside, if it cannot come out in the open and be allowed to drain. The wounds from sexual abuse are like that. We cover them up, we apply a band-aid onto something that needs to be lanced and cleaned out.
My testimony I pray, will give women who walk in the darkness and silence, and opportunity to remove the scab, and allow the wound to start to heal like it should. That does not mean that we don’t carry the scars. But our scars are beautiful! They are an opportunity to grow stronger. God is there to help us heal those wounds but we have to be willing to open up the wound and clean out the infection with His help. It is possible, but it is painful and sometimese it hurts more in the beginning, but afterwards, once the healing begins, you don’t realize how much pain you were walking around with and how it was impacting the life God has planned for you, until the pain stops.